This is my LARP character, Stella Van Der Neer. She was a Malkavian. By odd machinations she became the (Tremere) Justicar of the UK, and performed that function for 7 years, before disappearing (MIA) during a conflict with the Sabbat.

After that she lived under a false identity, that of Magenta Constantine, a Gangrel, before finally the character had to be retired when the Camarilla closed its old campaign.

I played her for 14 years all told, so it was a bit of a wrench when finally I had to put her away into the costume box forever.



(The following terms are all Trade Mark to White Wolf, no infringement of copyright or trade mark is intended here: Malkavian, Justicar, Tremere, Camarilla, Sabbat)

It was great when it all began...

When did that magic moment come where roleplaying became a part of me ? I'm tempted to say "when I read the Mark Rein-Hagen article I mentioned in a previous posting". Searching my memories, though, reveals that it happened much earlier than that.

What we are talking about is the the moment when having the things we imagine for ourselves, enhanced through input from others, became part of our frame of reference for what is important in 'Reality'. For me that was on the beach at Skegness when I was about 6 or 7.

I had always been an 'imaginative' child. I had a very loving mother who made me clothes to dress up in - mostly mermaids, genies or Cinderella - and I was used to playing alone in a landscape generated entirely by my own imagination. What happened in Skegness was that I discovered that not all children had the facility inborn in them to 'Imagine' ! I was very shocked to make this discovery.

I played on the beach with two other children who were, I think, staying at the same hotel. I was happily raunching around in the sand, talking to imagined people and creatures, when I realised they didn't understand what was going on. That was my moment. I taught the other girls to Imagine, so that we could play together better, and knew from then on that this wonderful gift of playing inside ones own brain was specific to me as a person and something I could share and teach to others for mutual benefit and amusement.

Over the Hills and Far a-Blog

I just found a lovely line, so descriptive of my own experience of roleplaying:

"Games are designer food for infovores"

The article goes on to say:

"Attempting to interpret information gives us a high. Scientists are beginning to understand the exact mechanisms in the brain that encourage the release of pleasure when consuming stimuli."


Go see the article:

http://lostgarden.com/2006/07/games-are-designer-food-for-infovores.html

What's happening in the games

5 August 06

No 'Shadows' game this week, because of the five week month thing.

I've missed the York Camarilla game too, which I had hoped to attend; maybe next month. Presently my Cam character, Elijah, is trying to figure out how to set up some cameras in the sewers without getting his own legs bitten off by the carnivorous bugs living down there. He could use humans, of course, but then he'd have to explain away the bodies...

Played 'Pirates' again this week; beginning to enjoy it a bit more. Still too many damned rules, though. Half the session was taken up with "you can have weapon KT25 version 7.2, which gives you such a many pluses...but if you do that you have such a many penalties in situation x22.415a..." It's irrelevant number crunching and it is irritating. I want to roleplay, not ruleplay. The sessions feel short enough to start with without wasting half of the time on that sort of stuff.

When we did eventually get down to playing it was quite a good game. Our characters stole some stuff and in the process discovered a body and encountered some spies and marksmen. I think we set sail for Antigua soon.

Had a nice chat with an old pal this week in Fan Boy 3. We dicusssed 'reality' as well as reminiscing about old games and chatting about present ones. If you are in Manchester, please do drop into Fan Boy 3 - see details listed under the 'Gaming Resources' thread.


26 July 06

I played Elibettee in Pirates last night. We're using an adaptation of the SpyCraft system. I don't 'do' systems, generally. I've been spoilt by having so many years of play that's basically been 'freeform'. It's a bit of a bind having to go back to all that number crunching. To paraphrase my partner, "I don't really care if I get a plus one for farting in the right direction when I take the shot, I just want to know if I hit him or not".

My experience generally is that systems get in the way of roleplaying. I want to play my character, not spend all night looking things up on charts in badly indexed books. (As a WoD (TM) player, bad indexing is a hobby horse of mine, much as is sub-standard book bindings...).


Elibettee hasn't taken shape in my head yet. We look like we won't be playing Pirates for very long anyway, so she may never become a fully rounded entity. For now she is a cypher character, the words are there but the emotions have yet to kick in. She's not a 'Philosophy' character (yet). Not every character is. Some start off Philosophised, and others grow into it.


The other day I realised just how Philosophised Lilithai has become. Our GM put us in a situation where the character was captured and helpless to do anything about it. That really wound me up. Who is in control of a situation is one of my 'Philosophical Issues'. I was so upset by it that I was preparing to suicide my character if the situation prevailed for too long. My boyfriend says that's actually a common reaction players have to situations where they have no control over their character, because in games all you really do have control of is your own character.

Control is a big issue for Lilithai. In a previous incarnation (yeah, the campaign is very esoteric) she was a woman who had been in an abusive relationship, and this current incarnation has always vowed 'never again'... In the end, the only reason she didn't suicide was because Lily also has this big Motherhood thing going on, and she couldn't leave her 'daughter' unprotected. If she could have figured out a way to kill them both without letting the enemy gain anything she would have done that, even though the 'Fate of the World' in part depends upon her daughter's survival. that's how much she / I hate being helpless / powerless.


When Pirates finishes it looks like we will be playing a short season of 'Star Wars' (TM) . The GM says it will be without Jedi or Sith though, because they break the game. I've been asked to play the pilot. I quite like that idea.

Who am I ?

Currently I am:

Elijah Wood - a male vampire; a pawnbroker and criminal mastermind (LARP)
Bel Petrovicha - a Russian Granny, circus performer and Bear Shaman (LARP)
Lilithai - a part-alien demi-goddess of the Fractured Earth of the far future (tabletop)
Elibettee - an escaped Carribean slave turned pirate. My newest character (tabletop)


I've been many others besides. The highlights are:

Stella Van Der Neer - another vampire, an upholder of the Law, mad as a hatter, all-around weirdo with an invisible friend who was actually 'real' and based on Harvey (LARP)
Lady Leonie Rosamunda Ishtakaan - psionic priestess and swordmistress (LARP)
Krekta - a half-orc librarian (tabletop)
Vana - a dark elf who had a high elf twin (tabletop)
Keira Rosamund - my very first character ever, if I remember rightly. (tabletop)

As regards the Philosphy of Masquerading (see other posts), the best examples of this would be my two vampire characters, Stella and Elijah, and my first LARP character, Lady Rosamunda. Their purpose and meaning will be elaborated upon elsewhere as this blog expands; that's assuming I feel like sharing, since the Philosphy can take you into very personal space.


I also wish, at this point, to mention some characters whose existence has majorly enhanced my gaming experiences and enabled me to make fullest use of the Philosophy:

Michael Bowman
Jessie Blackwood
Xavier Luxembourg
Errolfini
Justin and Katherine

You guys know who you are.

The love and friendship of the players of these characters has enhanced my life for all time. Thank you for being everything and everyone you are, and for accepting everything and everyone I am. *BIG HUGS*

The Philosphy of Masquerading - Part 1 - Where it started for me

I started roleplaying because it sounded like something interesting to do on a Sunday to meet new people when I first started University. I didn't have a philosophy then. I played happily and enthusiatically for many years without a philosophy. I still play happily and enthusiastically, but now I know why I play and what I want to get out of it; I have a philosophy. These days I roleplay a certain way for certain reasons.

A goodly proportion of my philosphy of Masquerading is rooted in the early work of Mark Rein-Hagen, the original author of Vampire: The Masquerade (TM). *Anticipates hate mail*

I'll fess up now and say that I was one of those responsible for founding Camarilla UK, and for seven years I ran the society. *Anticipates even more hate mail*. As a roleplayer you will either love or hate V:TM and it's spin offs. I'm not talking about it here as a game system though, but as a philosophy of how to play and why.

Before you go off on one, have you actually read Mark Rein-Hagen's original treatise on character development for V:TM ? I suggest you do. It had an enormous influence on me and on how I view my characters and play them, not just WoD characters, but all my characters including my re-enactment personas.

It's nearly time for me to go now, though, so I'll leave further explanations until next time, except to say that the title of this blog is deeply meaningful and significant in relationship to my philosophy. As those of you who have seen my blog on bullying will already know, words mean a lot to me, and I endeavour to use them with precision...